Living With Purpose
More and more women are choosing not to marry in the 21st century. It could be a culture shift that’s creating the change or maybe it’s because they’ve seen too many marriages end in heartbreak and they’re trying to avoid the hurt. There’s a lesson to be learned in all of this emotional doubt and fear and men need to take notice. The truth still remains that in the heart of a person is the longing for true love.
A woman once jokingly explained why she was not married: “I’ve got a parrot that cusses, a dog that snores, a chimney that smokes, and a cat that doesn’t come home at night. Why do I need a man?” The feminist movement has been riding a wave of momentum that’s been partially fueled by the anger and dissatisfaction towards males in our society.
There are some good fathers and husbands that care deeply about their relationships and are doing their best to be responsible leaders of their households. On the other hand, many men have failed to do what is required to maintain healthy marriages and family relationships. Whether it’s due to a person’s unfaithfulness, insensitivity, a failure to lead or lack of involvement, women in great numbers are starting to believe they will live better without men.
Relationships require people to communicate. You have to listen, set aside time in your schedule to interact, and invest interest in another person’s life. Research suggests that connecting with people who love you helps reduce stress, boost the immune system, and improves emotional health. Men, as well as women, were meant to interact in meaningful ways.
Several years ago, the wife of a former Miami Dolphins football player found her marriage falling apart. Her husband traveled many days out of the year and when he was home he was involved very little with her or their children. Realizing something needed to change; she began taking self-improvement classes, studied psychology, and began reading the Bible every day. Practicing principles for building a good marriage started bringing excitement and joy back into her marriage. She accepted herself as a beautiful person created by God and started to accept the man she had married as he was. She admired him, loved him, and adapted to his life-style. She showed appreciation and wore nice clothes around him. Her husband’s needs we’re being met and he started giving a greater effort in meeting her own needs. This did so much to revolutionize her marriage, she convinced eleven more Dolphin wives to try her strategy. It may not have been coincidence that the next season the Miami Dolphins became the first team in the history of professional football to win every game, including play-off games, and the Super Bowl. Responding to his wife’s new attitudes and ways, this NFL player started making arrangements to spend more time at home and they began taking time to pray and read the Bible together. There are a number of women who don’t choose to be this submissive to their husbands. But there’s evidence that says the closer a couple grows to God, the closer they grow to each other. The Bible has formulas about marriage, that when applied, have worked beautifully.
The secret to all relationships is to let the Lord be in control. When there is spiritual oneness between the husband and wife, marriages tend to stay intact while other relationships built on lesser values are disintegrating. It’s very clear. For a healthy marriage there’s a challenge for both the woman and the man. The kind of man God desires for a woman is one that will follow Christ’s teachings and learns how to love her according to God’s directions. The kind of relationship that is made strong is the one where couples are companions, partners, and best friends. This requires time on the man’s part. Love for the woman is spelled T-I-M-E.
The Scripture verse, 1 Peter 3:7 says, “You husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.” Women claim to want a man who has understanding. Therefore, a man must remove the attitude of being self-centered and start getting to know her. If a man will work to know and anticipate his wife’s needs, he may be surprised just how wonderful married life can be. Honor her by praying with her and spending time with her doing things together inside and outside the home. A man needs to be a spiritual leader in the home and seek out a church where the whole family can worship freely and not feel judged for who they are or what they might have done. God forgives those who want His forgiveness and He can make things right in your family.
- This weekly column is written by Matt Dobson. A graduate of Florida State University, Univ. of West Florida, and Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, he is Pastor of New Bethel Baptist Church in Jay, Florida and is a Captain (CPT) in the U.S. Army Reserves Chaplain Corp. Matt can be reached by email: rmdobson@liberty.edu. He welcomes your thoughts concerning faith, belief, and Christian living. Visit the Living With Purpose website at www.living-with-purpose.org.
