North Santa Rosa

Living With Purpose by Matt Dobson

It’s a given people will come in and out of your life. It’s the ones you like you hope will always stay. If there was a “quick fix” for a broken heart it would sure be a “quick sell” and most people would go to great lengths to get it. Going the extra mile to obtain it would not be such an inconvenience. I’ve found there are no words that can eliminate the sting of having a friend, a love, or a family member turn their back and walk away. It’s one thing for this person to die, but it’s quite another to know this person, who you once had a tender compassionate relationship with, is still living and breathing somewhere. Somewhere you’re not.
There are many things you can do. And healthy mind-relieving busyness is one of them. This can bring a temporary respite from the heavy heart, but it’ll require a constant effort to keep the sadness at bay. Many times I’ve set out on a 5 mile run to help deal with the pressure of sorrow and loss. It does help but it doesn’t guarantee a complete cure for the heartache. Physical activity during heartache can mitigate the suffering but it will take more than a one-time episode of exercise. All things must be held in perspective when the person you long for has gone their own way. Superficial escapisms like drugs and alcohol will deaden the pain temporarily, but they will never heal the heart.
People who suffer heartbreak tend to avoid the places they were in the habit of frequenting together. Most psychologists will tell you this is a mistake. One of the secrets of curing heartache is to be as normal as soon as you can and to be as natural as possible. Sorrow is a natural and normal process. Again, there are many negative and positive things you can do to help relieve the hurt. One of the more deeper reliefs from heartbreak and sorrow comes from a spiritual consultation with God. People do it all the time, but it’s not advisable to try and carry the burden of sorrow, mental, and emotional pain without divine help. Many times the burden of pain and its weight are more than the average person can bear. That’s why the suicide rate is like it is among those who try to make sense of life’s pain on their own. God says, “Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
The easiest and most effective of all relief from heartbreak is to practice the inviting presence of God into your life. Peace, acknowledgement, and acceptance begin to take root in the heart that’s broken and it begins to heal much quicker and much healthier than it would otherwise. I am convinced there is nothing in this world that God cannot help you with if you would completely and totally surrender it all to Him. One of the most marvelous texts in the Bible is 1 Corinthians 2:9, “No eye has ever seen or no ear has ever heard or no mind has ever thought of the wonderful things God has made ready for those who love Him.” Here-in lies the promise of all promises. God will take care of you and provide infinitely more for your troubled heart than you can imagine for yourself. It won’t be a quick fix, but it’ll be a healthy healing and a thorough healing.
Heartbreak comes to both the believer and the non-believer. The advantage a believer has is that God, the Keeper of those who trust in Him, will provide a healing balm to the brokenness in your heart. A friend once told me, “The ultimate fulfillment in relationships is found in God.” I’ve never forgotten this and it helps me deal with past pain to this day. God is in the business of helping us deal with the pain that cuts like a knife.
Whether it’s a one-time life disabling heartbreak or an accumulating series of incidents, there is one basic principle that still stands true: “…nothing can separate us from the love of God…death, life, angels, leaders…hard things now or in the future. None of these things can keep us away from the love of God which is ours in Christ” (Rom. 8:38-39). This includes the pain of losing someone to someone else. Don’t let the physical and emotional torture overcome your spiritual strength. “I will look unto the hills. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord…” (Psalm 121:1-2). Run to God, open your heart, and lay the hurt at His feet. God will immediately begin to help you put the pieces back together. The emotional toil can be serious. And as hard as it may be, think of your situation as a pathway to something new, something greater and better. You wouldn’t let a flat tire keep you from going to pick up a gift of a million dollars would you? Don’t let a broken heart keep you from moving on and learning to love again—a love worth waiting for and potentially greater than the one before. The Bible says, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. And He saves those who are broken in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Choose to love God and never turn your back upon Him. The amazing love and grace that He can provide will help you to keep on breathing and once again see the beauty and potential of each new love that He intends for you. Find a church where they love God and worship Him, attend faithfully, and follow Him in all your ways.
• This weekly column is written by Matt Dobson. A graduate of Florida State University, Univ. of West Florida, and Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, he is Pastor of New Bethel Baptist Church in Jay, Florida and a 1LT Chaplain in the U.S. Army Reserves. Matt can be reached by email: He welcomes your thoughts concerning faith, belief, and Christian living. Visit the Living With Purpose website at

Posted by on Feb 24 2013. Filed under Living With Purpose, Local, Top News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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