Living With Purpose
A young couple went to visit a minister for pre-marriage counseling. He sent them away after the first meeting with a lengthy set of papers to complete for their pre-marital assessment. After mailing their answers to the pastor’s office he called them to schedule another meeting. The couple sat with giddy anticipation across the desk from the pastor as he pulled the results from an envelope. “You know,” he said, “As a matter of fact, nobody is as good as you each think your future spouse is. You’re looking at each other with rose-colored glasses!”.
To one another, they were soulmates. They saw each other as divinely matched. For some skeptics, there’s no such thing as soulmates. I happen to believe there is such a title for couples who are in true love. One definition of soulmates is a person in whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet—a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops overtime, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.
A requirement to become soulmates is an undying commitment to one another. This commitment can be further strengthened by a complete surrender to the Lordship of Christ in their lives. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken.” This triple cord is the man, woman, and God together.
Without a commitment to Christ, the tremendous waves of temptation will chip away at the commitment and leave a couple vulnerable to the fiery darts of Satan. When a couple speaks the vows, they must first choose to accept their spouse as a partner in life’s journey. Lasting and satisfying marriages are created when marriage partners love and support one another. Like muscles, love and support become stronger with exercise. The leader of this exercise routine is God. He orchestrates mountains and valleys in the lives of the two. If a couple stays in faithful pursuit of God and in tandem with one another, they will be assured to have the right priority in their relationship.
Scripturally speaking, Ephesians 5:31 sets the pace for all that is to come for the Christian couple: “And the two will become one flesh”. The understanding of this Scripture is important to the couple as they know their individual decisions affect each other, and not just themselves. Soulmates are born out of a deep emotional belief system that agrees with one another rather than contradicts one another. This belief system bends toward the spiritual dimension of marriage and it’s this trait that unites hearts in an unbreakable bond.
A soulmate readily accepts commitment. And Christian commitment is based on a covenant or promise, not law. Once a Christian or non-Christian expresses a verbal commitment to each other, the foundation of all future activities and decisions have been established. A resolve to strengthen that foundation is shared by both the man and woman. They assume one another will be together forever and will need to find solutions to their differences. A powerful concept that helps modern couples of our culture to solidify commitment is presupposing lifelong commitment to one another.
A few practical traits of soulmates is that they are: 1) courageous and take risks in things that matter, 2) self-accepting and possess courage to be imperfect, 3) accepting of change as a way of life and learn to welcome it, 4) positive thinkers who find personal meaning in what they do, 5) empathetic and sensitive to how they’re partner feels when sharing feelings with each other.
Acting positively toward the one you love strengthens your own love for them. And when you think the best about your spouse, it will help you get through the worst times.
At least three classic disciplines of the spiritual life call soulmates to move beyond surface living and into the depths of the abundant life: worship, service, and prayer. I strongly believe if a couple prays together and seeks opportunities to share God’s love with others through service (usually in a church or ministry), then the marriage takes on a divine meaning. Divine meaning is the thing that is eternally important. Shared goals and shared service will cement the actions and intentions of being soulmates.
• This bi-weekly column is written by Matthew Dobson. He’s a health educator for the State of Florida, U.S. Army Reserve Chaplain, and the Pastor of New Bethel Baptist Church in the New York Community. His “Living With Purpose” Book series can be found and purchased on www. Amazon.com. You can contact him by email: rmdobson@liberty.edu.
